Back in 1820 the Capitol of Indiana, Corydon, sat near the Ohio River on the southside of Indiana. Although the center of the population then, it was realized that a new one would have to be formed geographically centered in the state. A site was picked out around the White River and a new city was drawn up. Today, Indianapolis it the only true big city in the state; big enough to support two major professional sports teams. With it being around 3 ½ x more populous than the largest town I’ve covered (Ft Wayne) and 933 x bigger than the smallest (Wolcott) I can’t possibly cover the whole city in one blog or even one trip. So for this experience, my family and I spent a couple of nights downtown and will bring to you a small fraction of things to do and places to eat in in or near the original plat which will be only a mile or two away from the circle.
The Tenderloin
The District Tap started out on the north side of Indy, but they have opened a second location strategically placed on Meridian St right between the basketball and football stadiums. Inside you can sit at their large bar and watch the many big TV’s or hang out with the family at a table and watch the traffic cruise by through their open windows to Georgia St. They have self-proclaimed “damn good food” there, but I’m hoping for a damn good fried pork sandwich and ordered up their “Hoosier Daddy Breaded Tenderloin”. This was some good eatin’. The breading was crisp and flavorful and the bun fresh. My favorite part of it was the meat itself. I got the darker end of the lion. A lot of times when you get that part it contains a lot of chewy fat that is not very tasty. The District Tap was gracious enough to trim most of the gristle off, and what you end up with is a juicy, tasty, tender goodness that accompanies every bite. Next time you are at a Colts or Pacers game… or maybe just showing someone out of town the Circle Center Mall, be sure to take in one of the best versions of Indiana’s favorite sandwich at The District Tap.
The Town
Speaking of Circle Center Mall, there is a place right off Meridian Street at the lower level that you can hang out for a while and play some games. The Punchbowl Social is filled with bowling alleys, cornhole lanes, shuffleboard tables, karaoke rooms, and just about any other social game to be enjoyed while enjoying their full bar and kitchen. We wandered across the street from our hotel while waiting to check into the room. At first weren’t sure if kids could even go in there. That’s how classy this place is, you walk in surrounded by pinball machines and giant Jinga and you still wonder… are kids allowed? So after tracking down the bartender and ordering up a beer, I asked, “can my whole family that are patiently waiting outside come in?” The answer is yes, and instead of the kids going to all the free games like connect four and bocce ball, they beg for a game card to play the few carnival games they have in there. So, I break down and get one card with $20 on it (yes just one card and I caught hell from the younglings) while the missus and I head for the free Cornhole. 10 minutes later the kids come back out of money and we send them to the Jenga tables while I emulate the pros I watch on ESPN 8 “The Ocho” and throw most bags right down the hole. It is a cool place to hang out, if we had more time I’m sure we would have rented out one of those karaoke rooms.
When we (the kids) decided on downtown Indianapolis to spend our Labor Day weekend (trust me, I would have rather rented an Airbnb in some small town next to state park with some good hiking trails) the draw for the inner city was a popular chain restaurant found in major touristy areas called Dick’s Last Resort. Apparently, the boys had watched some YouTube video on it a couple weeks ago and have been dying to check the place out. You see, at Dick’s, the servers are ultra-rude to you. They make fun you, give you hats with insulting descriptions on it, and yell at you for looking at them. Basically, just mess with you the whole time. They even called a bunch of the old men up to the stage for a twerking contest. I couldn’t believe they didn’t call me up, apparently our server was surprised too and she let me know it. The boys ate it up, both the insult humor and the food. I liked it because I am usually the one to try to be funny and mess with the servers and act the fool. Here I could just relax and chill out while the staff did the work for me.
We headed out a little outside the Mile Square to check out some duckpin bowling at Atomic Bowling in Fountain Square. Duckpin is like regular bowling except the pins are smaller, more spread apart, the balls are also smaller, and you get three throws per frame instead of two. You find out quick that it is actually not similar to regular bowling. It is easy to understand and play. You don’t need to pick out a ball, no renting shoes, and the best bowlers with low handicaps are just as good as someone who has never rolled a ball before. I will admit that my wife smoked all three of us, even me with the 170 10-pin bowling average. The place itself is something to check out. The 4th floor has 8 alleys and decorated like the 1930’s and the bottom floor has 7 lanes and is more of a 1950’s vibe. It started off as a regular bowling alley, but was converted when they renovated the building. The place also serves like a museum too. You will enjoy the displays with all the old trophies, bowling balls, and pictures throughout the place.
Right next to the bowling alley is a Heavy Metal themed burger bar called Kuma’s Corner. It’s a fun place to have dinner. With the original in Chicago, they opened one up in Indy a few years ago. The burgers are fresh and have all kinds of crazy toppings. My wife had this one called Sourvein. In addition to the patty, it had chicken strips, bacon, cheese, and two Belgian Waffle Strips with Maple Syrup. She just ate it in pieces. Mine was a bit more tame - The Brujeria. It had cheese, hot sauce, and a couple jalapeno poppers on it. What the real surprise here was that they had a libation called Jeppson’s Malort. Common on the South Side of Chicago, this liquor is made from Wormwood and has one of the most horrible tasting edible liquids known to mankind. I was first introduced to this in Denver, CO a few weeks ago on a business trip. Eating at the bar of my favorite Chinese Restaurant downtown called “The Bao Brewhouse” I struck up a friendly conversation with the guy sitting next to me and he presented me with a shot of this stuff. I asked how it tastes, and he gave me that “just try it” response that you know nothing good is going to come from. I downed the shot and just smiled, looked down and shook my head. My buddy was impressed as it was the first time he saw someone not make a nasty face after shooting it back. It tastes like someone took a piece of wood, burned it to ashes, added soil to it, and then ran dirty river water through it. A few weeks later and I find this offered again here at Kuma’s, this time with my family all sitting in front of me. Of course I want to show off. I’ll tell you what, it was worse the second time, mostly as it sat in front of me while I was waiting to down it. I didn’t know what I was getting into the first time, but now I’m diving head first knowing the outcome wouldn’t be pleasant. Good thing the burger was so good that came out after. The worse thing is that next time I see that Malort on the menu, I’m just going to have to order it.
So, when the City of Indianapolis was platted, they reserved a circle right in the center for the governor to live. The designers of the city had worked with L’Enfant who did Washington DC and featured the President’s house prominently in the city. Well, a mansion was built, but the governor didn’t want to have a house with so little privacy, so it was used as more of a community center until it was demolished completely. I became a grassy park for a couple decades where the early citizens could assemble or enjoy a day outside. At the turn of the 20th century, it was decided to create a monument in memory of the solders from the Civil War. That is what we have there now, except it remembers Indiana’s fallen soldiers from all of the wars. You can visit the Soldier’s and Sailer’s Monument and either climb 331 steps to the top or just take the elevator. I’ve had some battles with the stairs over the years. The first time my wife was pregnant with our first kid, so she took the elevator and I saved $2 by taking the stairs. The second time my youngest was 5. It was so hard to climb them stairs the first time that I made sure to let him know that we were both taking the elevator to the top. When we got there a sign said, “elevator out.” I started to feign disappointment when my son said, “It’s OK dad, there are stairs”, and then that 5 year old starting bolting right up there before we could even have a discussion about it; I reluctantly followed after him. Now the youngest is 11. We all walk in and the elevator is free. You would think I would be able to take the elevator that time, right? No! There is a line and the youngest insists on taking the stairs now! He can’t go up without a parent, so, again, I’m trudging up all 331. The views at the top are spectacular. There isn’t a lot of room, but when you climb up all the steps the reward almost makes it worth it. There used to be a museum in the basement, but they’ve has some water leakage issued so it moved to the other monuments up the road a bit.
Yes, this is just a small sample of the ways you can have fun in Indiana’s Capital city. It would be impossible to contain the activities in Indy just one blog. I’m sure I’ll be back with more historical sites, more fun places, and definitely – more tenderloins.
Jeppson’s Malort - Never Will You Find a More Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy.
by Michael Tomko
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